How I Pace my Creativity with Chronic Illness (and still make things I'm proud of)

When you live with a chronic illness, especially one that gives you extreme chronic fatigue, creative energy can feel like a rare, unpredictable resource. Some days you wake up inspired, but your body is too fatigued to get out of bed and move that day. Other days you have just enough energy to start, but never enough to finish. And that's extremely frustrating.

So, how do you stay creative when your body doesn't run on a consistent schedule?

The answer? you pace it. Gently, imperfectly, and with way more compassion than the world usually offers.

Here's how I've learned to pace my creativity so I can keep making beautiful things, without burning out my body in the process:

Treat Energy like Currency:

If you've read my blog before, you may be familiar with the term, "Spoons". If you're not, allow me to explain. When someone with chronic illness does a task, it cost a certain amount of spoons. A spoon is equal to the amount of energy it takes to do it. But, the catch is, there's a limit on how many spoons we get every day, and everything costs at least one spoon. Going to the restroom? Brushing your teeth? Putting clothes on for the day? all of that is one spoon, each. So, if someone wakes up with very little physical energy, they have a low amount of spoons, they're less likely to be able to do as much that day. And we often go into the negative for spoons, which is really bad because when we sleep we don't always get those spoons back, either. It can sometimes take days or weeks to get "Back to normal" after an event or doing something strenuous, depending on what it is. So, think of the currency as spoons.

Credits to MePedia for this Image

I used to think, "If I'm inspired, I have to create right now! I gotta get it done!!" But that mindset left me energy crashing, hard. Now, I have to treat my energy like it's a budget!

Every morning, I get Jared off to work, and then get back in bed for about a half hour, then start getting up and getting through my day. While I'm doing my morning vitals, I mentally check in with myself, and ask things like:

• What would I like to get accomplished today?

• Now, realistically, what can I get done today?

And I make two check lists. One full of the house things I want to take care of that day, and another of the work things that I want to take care of that day. The house always gets done first, and then the work gets tended to, because I like to work on that when Jared plays his video games after work, too.

How I Design when I Don't Feel up to Crafting

Not every day is a crafting day, and not every day is a logistics day! On a crafting day, I only let myself craft and don't worry about anything that has to do with the blog, website or social media. They can stress me out a lot to work on, so it's good for me to take days to just create.

But, on the same token, I love a good "Logistics Day", too. I love to sit and write my blog, work on my social media posting, and be creative this way too. That's why I'm doing this side of it! I love to share my story and creatively write when I can, and share my business goals with all of you. A Logistics day is only blog writing and scheduling, working on making posts and TikTok videos, or vlogging. I can craft while I vlog, but that's genuinely one of the only times I'll work on products on those days. Balance is extremely important!

I Rest Before I Need To!

This is the hardest one, but maybe the most important.

I don't wait until I'm in a full-body flare up to stop. I try (key word... try...) to build rest into my routine before the crash. That might mean:

• Taking a full day off after finishing a big piece

• Not crocheting two days in a row

• Saying "no" to a requested order when i feel stretched thin.

Pacing isn't about laziness, but more about sustainability. The more I rest now, the longer I can keep running, long-term.

I Let my Work Evolve with Me:

There are days when my hands ache too much to crochet, when I can't sit upright long enough to film, or I have a hard time sitting in anything other than my bed for a long period of time. Instead of seeing that as failure, I try really hard to let my creativity evolve!

• Some seasons, I make bigger pieces. Other times, I make smaller, gentle things,

• Some weeks, I post a lot online, other weeks I go quiet, and that's okay.

• My work changes as I do, That's the beauty of running a soft, human business.

I'm lucky enough that I have my own space in our bedroom, we're away from pretty much everything in the house, and it's very peaceful in our space that we've created. I'm so grateful that I get to run my business out of my bed, 90% of the day. I'm so grateful that I'm down in the dark and away from the world and I get to create in my comfortable space with comfortable and soft lighting, it's been so nice. (Thank you Jared and Yvonne!)

Your Pace is Valid

if you're living with a chronic illness or a disability, I hope this reminds you: Your creatvitiy is valid, no matter how slow it moves. You don't need to churn out a product after product to be "legit". You don't need to perform exhaustion to be taken seriously. You don't need to match someone else's timeline to be proud of your own. The most beautiful thing I've ever made was at a pace that was easy for me. And I hope yours is too.

Peace, Love and all the above,

Ella Marie <3